This is the first of three posts in which we delve into what mental toughness truly is. The first two were difficult pieces to write, as I sat down to reflect on the lives of two champions that I am incredibly honored to have known in my life. The third is a personal retrospective of the mental toughness I relied upon to persevere through these difficult times.
You find heroes in your life in the most unexpected times, the most unexpected places, yet their impact is felt wholly and your life is never the same. Sharing these two amazing profiles with you, along with my retrospective, demonstrates how the mind carries us through time and time again, proving our resilience.
These posts are a brief chronology of the long and full lives of Ken and Stephanie. This week, we’ll start with Ken’s mental toughness profile.
Kenneth Andrew Atkinson
February 25, 1955 – August 18, 1983
Perseverance. Tolerance for adversity. Resilience despite fear. Champions in their corner.
Bad News
Summer 1980. Natick, Massachusetts.
Ken, a skilled and experienced mechanical engineer, returned home from a large field project overseas. New Hampshire’s White Mountains beckoned. He and best buddy John hiked in the Presidential range for a few days. Returning to family in Massachusetts, he felt unusually fatigued and decided to see a doctor. Tests, then more tests brought bad news and a deadly diagnosis: Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML), a rare type of cancer of the blood and bone marrow which progresses rapidly and disrupts production of normal blood cells and platelets. A new challenge unexpectedly arrived that presented significant change to his personal and professional life.
Facing Adversity. Rising to Challenges
Late Summer-Fall 1980. Boston and Natick, Massachusetts.
Ken underwent treatment with Boston’s best. Chemotherapy was the main protocol, but failed to produce the desired result: remission. Tired, weak, pale and arms pock-marked from blood draws and transfusions, he left the hospital. Bad call? Maybe…but the choice was his. Chemotherapy hadn’t worked to this point. He had no interest in extended hospital time or experimenting with different chemo ‘cocktails’ with no guarantees. He opted for fresh air and creature comforts over the confines of a hospital bed, more needles, disrupted sleep, and institutional food he couldn’t keep down. More complex and new challenges lay ahead with his decision, but he was good with that.
Perseverance and Resilience. Heroes, Courageous in Actions Despite their Fears
Fall 1980-Summer 1982. Massachusetts and Vermont.
Surviving, even thriving, Ken lived his life to the fullest. He met Gayle. Their romance quickly blossomed. A beautiful wedding, Pilgrim Church in Sherborn, August 1981, then a move to Vermont. Ken, Gayle, and Gayle’s son Shayne in a new home and a new place. Joy. Family, outings, sports, activities, and vacations in New England. Change of seasons. A macrobiotic diet that improved Ken’s quality of life and offered hope for beating AML.
Prayers, readings and meditation. An occasional beer because he liked his beer, and ‘medical’ marijuana to chase away the fearful mind chatter. The bi-monthly blood transfusions at the local hospital, ’oil changes’ to keep his compromised engine and systems running at peak. No chemotherapy or treatments, but antibiotics to fight infections that could rage and place him on death’s door. He adapted, overcame and succeeded, resilient to the core. Always back on his feet as soon as possible, being, living and doing, proud to be a husband and father, and back to work in a family business.
Mental Toughness. Champions in their Corners. Short Endings to Long and Full Lives
Summer 1982-Summer 1983.
Ken, Gayle and Shayne lived life to the fullest, individually and as a family. Then, a remarkable, miraculous event: despite the perilous nature of Ken’s health and a mutual agreement, Gayle got pregnant and delivered son Doug in July 1983. Newfound pride and joy filled their lives with his arrival, and for five wonderful weeks, Ken cherished his time with his new flesh and blood. A long and full life interrupted by too little time on earth, in August, with family bedside in his home, Ken left his body, his legacy, and his greatest champion Gayle to carry on. And they did – we did – with lasting memories of a mentally tough, resilient man who defied the odds and lived life to the fullest.
Just one example of mental toughness. These are heroes I knew, fighting their own significant battles, adapting, overcoming, succeeding, and living full lives. I’m humbled … and so honored to have known and learned from them both. Be sure to check back for parts two & three about perseverance and mental toughness.
About Elemental Edge Training
Founded by former Navy SEAL Bill Atkinson, Elemental Edge Training offers highly organized, fast-paced half, full and three day workshops that enhance your ability to lead, follow, communicate and participate as an individual and on a team. Lectures, discussions and practicals, and a rapid fire “Plan-brief-execute-debrief” format hammer home why you’re here and what you must change to improve your personal and professional life. We also teach you a Navy SEAL mindset approach that’s a game changer for you and your team and includes direct and immediate feedback, along with “report card” to take home round out the experience, give pause for reflection, and inspire further change.
